Five Things in Fantasy that Drive Me Crazy

I love fantasy. I bet if you’re reading this blog you love fantasy too. But that doesn’t mean we have to love every single thing about it and for me that includes some of the practices I see repeated in the field.

Over and over and over and—wait for it—over again.

So here we go in no particular order:

1) Ethnic Uniformity- I’ve seen plenty of novels where all the elves act alike because they are elves and all the dwarves follow the same path because they’ve got beards and are short. Maybe you think that’s how it works because FANTASY but just think about it. If you replace Elf with Asian and dwarf with Jew it suddenly gets a lot more awkward.
“Why are all of the Asians feminine looking and wise and restrained emotionally?” Because Asian.
“Why are all the Jews greedy and jewel workers who live mistrust others and live under the ground?” Because Jews.
That kind of logic doesn’t make sense to me, doesn’t follow reality, and more importantly it doesn’t make for fun characters either.

2) World building over fun- There is a type of fantasy reader who loves big doorstopper novels where every character’s appearance is explained down to their hair, makeup, and whichever medieval designer wove their dress (some peasant artisan Dahling). I think a lot of the reason video games, movies, and comic books beat the crap out of fantasy novels for the almighty dollar is because they give what people want. Tons of action. This brings me to my third point.

3) Lack of accessibility- Most people aren’t fantasy addicts. You can’t expect them to see a thirteen book series, each of which is about 800 pages and say “oh boy”. Most people are fine with fantasy, but they have kids, pets, spouses, and small potato action figures with real french fry wielding action. They need to be able to pick up a book for a half hour, put it down, and come back the next day without feeling like it’s a chore or a big two month commitment. But for some reason most fantasy still ends up being huge with large unwieldy amounts of characters and magic systems. Ah, yes, magic systems. This brings me to my fourth point.

4) Uniqueness- Being unique isn’t always good. I could walk around in clear rubber clothes and it would make me unique. I would also get arrested for public indecency (fascists). It’s okay to want to write well, but most authors are trying to be special and in their bid to make a great, lasting work for all time end up making it boring, annoying, and making characters who sound like a bunch of 9th graders forced to read Romeo and Juliet out loud in class. *Shudder* And worst of all, most terrible of all they take-

5) Too Much Time in Between Books- I’m guilty of this one. All writers are. And I’m working on changing. But fantasy writers are not only the worst offenders of this, they are proud of it. Take any number of writers (I won’t name names, but come on, we all know them). Guys who are painfully slow.
Now these writers have the right to be as slow as they want. The problem is this affects other writers down the line. Readers get cagey about purchasing the first in a series until it’s done. And the fledgling or mid-tier writers who get skipped over don’t have the war chests these big name sloth authors do so they end up struggling to get done while working the dreaded full-time jobs. And less published novels means less readers of the genre means less revenue. Capitalism FTW.

So there you go. Five things that get in my craw and stay there when it comes to fantasy. That’s why I created my own style. Fantasy on the Run. Epic Stories for Busy Readers. A shorter more actiony offering for folks who agree with me. Check in next time when I talk about five of the things I love about fantasy.